Personally, I'm Stuck (RWBYHomestuck crack fic)
by DiamondBrickZ
Summary: When both Ruby and Jaune's teammates start acting strangely, almost like someone else, they're going to do whatever it takes to find out why. (They act like the Homestuck characters. That's the schtick.)


Ruby Rose awoke with a start. She'd just had the strangest dream. Something about traveling to another world. She slumped out of bed, her feet pounding on the hard wood when she landed upon it. Groping her way to the bathrooms, Ruby felt for the switch and flicked it on. The bathroom lights flickered on, some of the light spilling out into the dorm. Ruby heard Weiss shuffling in bed, muttering something about not getting enough "fucking" sleep. She was about to squeeze some toothpaste onto her brush when she stopped and realized. Weiss? Sleeping in? Now, Ruby had seen everything. She simply chalked it up to the Monday morning sluggishness and continued along her typical morning routine.

It was only when Yang woke up, then Blake and Weiss waking up shortly afterwards, that Ruby noticed something was off. For one, after Yang had, for some reason, gently woken Weiss up, Weiss fell out of bed, sat up in a frenzy, then made a mad dash towards the bathroom Ruby had just finished changing in, all the while very loud and very expletive words spilled from her mouth. For another, Yang was calling out, almost motherlike, at Weiss to not curse so much, as she didn't want Ruby picking up on those words at such a young age, or something Ike that. For next, after a beat of silence, Blake began guffawing loudly at that, completely unlike how she usually acted. _It was _all_ unlike how they usually acted_, Ruby thought.

They then went about their typical morning routine, yet with the major change of all her other teammates acting similarly to the way they had when they woke up. Weiss was a lot grumpier than usual, even more so, actually, since she was outright making up new swears to pepper almost every one of her suddenly salt-spitting sentences. Blake's personality performed an almost complete 180. Her quiet nature was gone; now she often loudly made cheeky and sometimes rude remarks, almost like Nora. Where Blake had become more outgoing, Yang had become more reserved. She chastised her teammates for being so loud, attempting to deescalate arguments that broke out between Blake and Weiss. They had been doing this all through their walk to the dining hall, all the while getting some sideways looks from other students they passed.

Ruby went through the events of her morning through her head. She looked from one of her teammates to another, totally perplexed. She cleared her throat as they sat down to eat, food already gotten.

"Ahem, are you guys... okay?" she asked.

"What do you mean, Rubes? I mean, I feel great," Blake playfully remarked, a happy grin plastered on her face, along with a pair of red glasses, for some reason.

"Oh, wow, I'm just feeling absolutely _fucking_ great Ruby. Thanks for asking! I'm completely ramshit FINE with these two hopping around me like a whole ass-eating bunch of caffeinated fucking _rabbit Grimm_, right after I fucking overslept and had to rouse us shitty bunch to breakfast." Weiss fiercely barked.

"I do believe that no rabbit Grimm exist, Weiss," Yang gently said.

"You think I give a single filth-drubbing shit, hot-pants?" Weiss quickly retorted.

Ruby, taken aback by Weiss's, uh, colorful language Weiss just dumped, turned to her sister, Yang.

"You okay, Yang? You seem a lot more... calm today."

"Of course, I'm just a bit tired is all," she replied, sipping a glass of warm tea that she somehow had.

Ruby looked back and forth between her three teammates. "Something's wrong here," she said. "Are you guys playing a prank on me?"

Weiss snapped at Ruby. "No, we _aren't_ pranking you Ruby. I'm pretty sure me being tired after a midsummer's _way too fucking short _night sleep doesn't count as a prank, no matter how asinine it is."

"Are you gonna eat that?" Blake chirped, pointing to the bright, candy red lollipop Ruby had on her plate. Blake's mouth was watering, her eyes, despite looking glassy and blank for some reason, fixated on the treat.

"Uh, sure, Blake," said Ruby, hesitantly handing the lollipop to Blake, who began licking it vehemently. "You guys are beginning to freak me out. I think I need to go and, uh, check on Team JNPR."

Ruby began to shuffle away, shaken somewhat by her team's offputting behavior. "Don't forget to come back, Ruby! I can't really see anything right now and Weiss won't help me!" Blake called, snickering as Weiss began another round of insult mix-and-match.

Ruby walked over to where Team JNPR was sitting. _Hopefully, they'll be able to make sense of this nonsense, _Ruby thought. She approached the team's table, only to find it in just as much a mess as her team's was. Which is to say, not really messy or anything, just really causing people to be unnecessarily confused by just looking at it. Jaune, utterly shocked, was staring at his team, who were in a state of complete disarray. Pyrrha was simply sitting there, eyelids half closed, almost about to fall over from... _tiredness? being drunk? maybe she was high?_ \- while Nora was sassily and somehow manipulatively telling off Ren, who was stuttering incomprehensively.

Which is to say, Ruby was just as confused as Jaune was. She walked over to him, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention.

Jaune jumped slightly, but his face softened when he turned to Ruby. "Oh, Ruby! Didn't, uh, expect you here! A-actually I was, but, you get the point." He looked back over at his teammates, who were now bickering in a somehow flirtatious way, save for Pyrrha. "Do you have any idea why they're acting like that?"

"Um, no, sorry Jaune. Although, Yang, Weiss, and Blake have been acting all weird too." Ruby pointed to her table, where her team was now having a jokey slapfight. "See what I mean?"

Jaune stared at the group. "Wow, I didn't know that Weiss was so skilled with a sickle," he remarked.

"We need to talk to them. It's our duty as team leaders!" She patted Jaune on the back triumphantly, hammering her point in. "Maybe they're going through something."

"Yeah, maybe. We should probably brainstorm later, though, since classes are about to start." Jaune turned around to rouse his team, sighing anxiously, realizing how much harder his job seemed to be now.

As she walked away, Ruby called back, "See you later, Jaune!"

She had a feeling that it was going to be a long day.

**AN: What can I say, besides the obvious '_Wowza I'm into the RWBY fandom!'_ This is basically a crack fic, inspired a teensy bit by Dr. Meanie Head's "Draw a circle thats the home!" **

**Get ready for some strange mutha-fuckin-shenanigans.**


End file.
